Congrats! You and your boyfriend have just become Facebook official, and the whole Internet is swooning over your adorable selfies.
You’re looking through his profile when you see someone like his status. But this is not just anyone; it’s his ex.
As a girl, you spiral out into psycho-stalker, private detective mode, as you look at every single move she’s made on social media since the day she was born.
Crazy? Most definitely. Normal? Yup.
Girls have the well-known habit of hating on a girl they don’t know just because she is the ex. Even though, we too, are somebody’s ex, we don’t think clearly when it comes to sex and love.
Cue the investigation: All bets are off when it comes to our man’s ex.
We get into this mentality where, if you’ve slept with my man, you’re automatically a horrible, no good, two-timing slut.
However, hating on someone we don’t even know is unhealthy and straight-up crazy. Even though they dated either two years ago or two months ago, there’s no reason to waste our energy hating on someone else, especially someone we barely know.
This is why:
1. He’s with you, not her.
If your man wanted to still be with his ex, he would be with his ex. No matter what history they have, there was a reason their time in the sun eventually set. He’s moved on.
You looking through their old pictures or her social media feeds only keeps her energy alive in your relationship.
2. She probably doesn’t care.
Most girls want to think the ex is crazy jealous and will do just about anything to break you guys up, but this is usually a load of sh*t.
Most people try to distance themselves from their exes because they are nothing but history. They just want to move forward without all the drama. There’s a better chance she’s moving on, rather than sitting home, scrolling through your feed.
3. You come off as crazy.
When you’re stalking her social media feed and thinking her friends are stalking yours, you come off as a complete insecure psycho.
Everyone has an ex. You can’t pinpoint one person and deem her the devil for having a past. Your friends are sick and tired of hearing her name, and your boyfriend is sick and tired of you questioning his feelings.
4. You’re only stressing yourself out.
The more you think about it, the more you’ll overthink it. You’ll create fake scenarios in your head and find problems that really aren’t there.
If your boyfriend can deal with you having exes, you should be able to deal with him having them.
5. It will negatively affect your relationship.
Bad energy creates bad events. If you’re constantly worrying about things that don’t even matter, you put a strain on your relationship.
Your boyfriend will think you’re insecure about your relationship with him, and be offended you don’t believe in your love or even trust him at all.
6. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
A lot of times, when you spend so much time hating someone, you lose the chance to realize how awesome they can be. Jealousy is a disease that takes your mind and spins it for a loop.
If you really took the chance to get to know his ex, you two may hit it off and become friends. Even if you’ve slept with the same guy, you can always joke about it down the road.
Not everything in life has to be a competition. It can be a really fun journey instead.