Shower sex in the movies is always so damn steamy, even down to the artfully placed steam. But for the rest of us, sadly without a well-paid Swedish art director to decorate our sex lives in a soapy haze, shower sex IRL can be kinda awkward and sucky. Body parts don’t line up right, someone’s getting all the nice warm water while the other freezes, and it’s slippery in all the wrong parts (floor, walls, etc…) and not in the right parts (water, oddly, is a horrible lube, so you will need lube. And not just any kind, a freakin’ silicone based lube. Which, of course, you didn’t think ahead to bring.)
There are also all kinds of tedious safety considerations: No one must slip, all toys must be 1 billion percent water safe, etc. And yet, shower sex is, like, some sort of life requirement. Since you will likely be doing it, you need to know how to do it well. Here’s how to emerge from that shower clean, unhurt, and glowing.
1THE BENT OVER BATHER
2THE SUPER SOAKER
3RUB A DUB DUB DUDE
4WET N’ WILD